I was reading this article and my heart went after those girls on the pole and the guys watching the door. Sure the piece is about politics and how both Democrats and Republicans have challenges to face to average people who are dealing with real problems away from the glamour of the convention hall in the now finished GOP 2012 Convention.
For some reason I didn’t see the girls as objects to make my penis stiff from the looks and smiles as they took my dollars to pay for their salary. No, I saw their hearts. I saw their lives and souls and I wanted to help them, listen to them, even pray for them. I saw the guys at the door reading their lives and see how stuck they are in doing something–ANYTHING–to make ends meet.
Too often Christians will focus on just the sexual aspect. But as you read this piece look at their lives and their hearts. They need to be treated like real people who are loved.
I get a note from Tristian Taormino–the Anal Sex expert–about a conversation with a feminist filmmaker talking about the Virginity Myth focusing in on Purity Balls for young teen women. These balls are done with teen girls and mostly fathers as if it was a pre-wedding, wedding to the family promising them not to get sexually active until marriage.
I got to think about what are the chances of doing such stunts like this actually work or not?
I found this from the Rand Corporation thoughtful…
Over the past decade, millions of teens in the United States have made formal pledges to delay sex until they are married. Virginity pledges are part of a wider abstinence movement that has been a controversial approach to sex education.
Essentially, the available research suggests that teaching abstinence alone to teenagers does not work — they are no more likely to delay the start of sexual activity than other teenagers. But research has not been so clear regarding virginity pledges specifically.
Some studies have found that pledges may help young people delay the start of sexual activity. This would be important regardless of one’s religious or moral stance on sexual activity, because we know that delaying the start of sex reduces a teenager’s risk of an unintended pregnancy and contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
The latest study on the issue, published in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics, seems to throw cold water on the idea that virginity pledges do much good, finding no difference in sexual activity between pledgers and nonpledgers. Those findings appear to be in direct conflict with those of a similar study I led at the RAND Corporation, published last summer in the Journal of Adolescent Health.
So which study is right? The truth is that pledges seem to delay sex for some kids some of the time.
Virginity pledges do not work in the strictest sense of delaying sex until marriage. Almost everyone has sex before they are married (95 percent of Americans), and that includes those who take virginity pledges.
That pledges fail is understandable. Teens’ relationship circumstances change. Their perspectives may change. What matters is that at the time young people take a virginity pledge, they express a desire to delay sex. Taking a virginity pledge may help them to do so.
So, who are the “some kids” for whom virginity pledges seem to work? They seem to be most (perhaps solely) effective among younger teens. The new Pediatrics study investigated the effectiveness of pledges taken at age 16 or older. In contrast, the RAND study focused on pledges taken between the ages of 12 and 17, or earlier.
Pledges also seem to work for only a limited period, or stage of life. The RAND study followed youth for 3 years until they were 15 to 20 years old, and found that 42 percent of pledgers remained virgins, while only 33 percent of similar nonpledgers did so.
The new Pediatrics study followed participants for five years after they reported having taken a pledge, until they were 20 or older, and found that they typically had sex for the first time at age 21. By that time, pledgers and nonpledgers appear equally likely to have had sex. If the pledge delays sex until after the teen years, rather than until marriage, there would still be significant health benefits.
With this knowledge, the most prudent course of action is to offer virginity pledges as part of a comprehensive program of sex education that includes information on birth control methods and condoms.
After all, most young people do not take virginity pledges, and most (65 percent of boys and 70 percent of girls) have sex as teenagers. Even many virginity pledgers will have sex as teenagers, and they need to know how to protect themselves from unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases when they do.
Should all kids pledge? The answer is clearly “no.” The RAND study showed that pledges work for teens with strong religious backgrounds and less positive attitudes toward sex, and who have parents that keep close track of them. Other work indicates pledges must be freely undertaken and that pledges are ineffective if all kids in a school or community take them.
Instead, we should make virginity pledges available for those young people who sincerely wish to make a commitment to abstinence, and provide all young people with the education and skills they need to protect themselves from unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional harm once they do become sexually active.
Steven Martino is a behavioral scientist at the RAND Corporation, a nonprofit public-policy-research institution.
So here’s a question for you and for the good folks on the Yahoo group site:
If you are a parent: Do you think a virginity pledge from your teen will make a difference or not?
If you are a young adult or do not have kids of your own: Have you ever taken a pledge like this and if so did it help you abstain from sex or not?
I’ll get to virgin purity here shortly in the post above, but I found this clip on You Tube fascinating and thoughtful as to where our wedding traditions come from and what they mean. Here, the white wedding dress is not what you think it is regarding purity.
I’m not bothered by pornography, but I do worry for the actors who are in it. They are the ones doing risky behavior sometimes at the expense of their health for the profit. But like they say in the Word “what does it profit if you gain the whole world, but loose your soul”. I worry for them and know they don’t mind having sex in front of the camera living out our own fantasies and dreams, but at what cost.
Here’s the latest in a line of problems in pornography:
I thought this would be a good way to help folks to figure out a way to explain sexuality to our kids. I wish I could take credit for it, but this was from the Museum of Sex. Truthfully this is brilliant! –Ed
I wanted to give Christians the opportunity to find a site where you can discuss issues about sexuality in a safe area. FetLife.com is a site where you don’t see a lot of outright pictures, per se, but it offers a lot of discussion groups and places to post and express your opinions. What is also great about the site is even though there are a lot of members on you don’t get harassed by so many people (mainly men) who want nothing but titillation and nothing else.
There are faith discussions on there you can get with like:
Christian Theology and Theory in BDSM
Christianity and Love
To name a few.
So give it a shot and let us know what you think. It may not be your thing, but I can promise you you’ll find a lot of great insight beyond the hundreds of different kinks represented on this site. I highly recommend it if you are even a bit curious about the topics on sexuality.
A born again Christian, a person who likes life and love, and who
enjoys sex. Sounds crazy? Sounds impossible? I’m finding in my own
life that it isn’t as crazy as it seems. In fact, I think the church
needs to come to grips with sexuality instead of just the same old
line you hear from time to time.
I’ll reveal more about my life in a moment, but I’d like to see
more of you folks take part in the group and tell me more about you.
I want this group to be a support for one another, but also I’d like
to see your viewpoints on faith and human sexuality.
I look forward to many postings and hope to hear from many of you
soon. Take care.
That was then, this is now.
Back in 2003 I was ready to give up my faith. My marriage ruined because of poor decision on my part. Years of going behind the back of the one of I love led up to the break up. Add to that faulty teaching (or at times no instruction at all) left me feeling as if God was no where to be found and I was a leper (at best). I didn’t know where else to turn and I didn’t know if I could ever be a believer again.
I went out by faith to search in the hopes of finding believers like me who felt the same way or went through similar things regarding sexuality and being a Christian. Turns out I wasn’t alone. In the process I would find some groups which were very good; some groups that were not; some groups who were so caught up in their obvious kink they had not time to acknowledge the Savior in the room. It was then I decided to start a group of my own.
Late 2003 Christian Pro Erotic was born with the hope of having a place for believers who struggled with sexuality, the Bible, and faith can have a place to speak out. At first we had about 10 members who were on the same page. Since then (at current count) we have over 800 members world wide who identify with what we are doing. I can’t say I did everything right or had all my ducks in an order, but knowing I wasn’t alone in the way I felt and believed was a definite blessing for me.
From there I was approached by Ask Dan and Jennifer. com to write articles about sexuality and the faith. Fine marriage, but then I found myself caught up in other things (i.e. life) getting in the way. To be honest, I am not the blogging type of person. Coming daily with something to chat about is not my thing. But when a topic or subject comes up and gets my blood boiling watch out! Now with the help of Dan and Jennifer we are going to try the blog thing but now it will be flashy, good looking, and hopefully informative.
I want this site to be more a discussion about sexuality, how does faith fit in, and finding out does it matter to God about what we do in the bedroom or not. I also want to discuss faith issues especially the journey God is taking me regarding faith, mercy, love, and His presence through it all. I don’t claim exclusive knowledge, but I love research and find things that point us to make conclusions, cause you to think about a subject in a new way, and come to terms in your own walk and faith as to whether this way or that way is good for you or you and your spouse/significant other.
Now I warn you I tend to be left of center on some things so to let you know from the get go I have no problems with my LGBT brothers and sisters out there. They are part of the body of Christ–like it or not–as you or me and they deserve a say in all this. I also think single men and women need a forum to come to some reasonable and thoughtful conclusions regarding how they handle their sexuality. Just because they are followers of Christ doesn’t mean they are not sexual beings. Whether they choose to act on it or not will be topics we can discuss here.
So I hope you enjoy this new blog. I will do my best and maybe down the road I’ll add a guest blogger to share what they know and we’ll debate it from there. I know sexuality and religion is as combustible as water and oil but sometimes you can let it burn up a situation or you can harness it and control it to benefit all.
May the fire that steers this blog and group of believers always benefit all and give warmth, comfort, and purpose.